Yes, it’s time to get ready for travel, dietary changes, and potential overwhelm. But we’re here to help you keep the peace!
The holiday season can bring joy, but it also tends to come with stress, pressure, and endless obligations that can wear us down. For those of us with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), this time of year can be especially challenging. Between family dysfunction, travel difficulties, and the societal pressure to keep up, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters most any time of the year: your health. But this year, we’re taking a different approach. Let’s reclaim our energy, set boundaries, and find joy in the simplest things—because your well-being isn’t optional. It’s essential.

When Family Dysfunction Erupts: Staying Grounded
Family gatherings during the holidays can stir up old dynamics and leave you feeling drained, emotionally and physically. Add chronic illness into the mix, and it can be overwhelming. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to participate in the dysfunction. Or if there is no way out, then prepare before the family chaos takes over by grounding yourself in your own health needs.

How to Stay Grounded:

• Prepare an Exit Plan: If family conversations get heated or overwhelming, it’s okay to excuse yourself. Plan what you can say, such as, “I need to rest for a while” and have a quiet room or space to step away and recharge. You shouldn’t have to explain yourself any further.
• Communicate Your Limits: Let family members know beforehand what you can and cannot participate in. For example, if cooking an entire meal is too much, offer to bring a simple dish instead. Or ask for a chair if you’ve agreed to cooking.

Reclaiming Your Energy: The True Value of Self-Care
Too often, self-care is seen as a luxury, something to indulge in “when you have time.” But for chronic illness patients including those with EDS, self-care is a necessity. Without it, holiday fatigue and stress can lead to flare-ups that take weeks to recover from. Think of your energy like a battery—every holiday task drains it, and self-care is what recharges it. Here’s a few ways to recharge your batteries:

Energy Recharge Tips

• Schedule Breaks: Between shopping, decorating, and events, schedule regular rest breaks where you can recharge. Short naps, meditating, or simply sitting in silence or listening to binaural beats or lo-fi music can make all the difference.
• Hydrate and Nourish: It’s easy to forget our most basic needs during the rush, but staying hydrated and nourished is crucial to maintaining your energy levels. Also set timers for any medications while you’re out of the normal routines. 

Boundaries Are Your Best Gift: Protecting Your Time and Energy
Setting boundaries might be the best holiday gift you can give yourself. Whether it’s declining invitations or saying no to extra responsibilities, it’s important to protect your time and energy especially during this season. Remember, boundaries aren’t just about saying “no”—they’re about saying “yes” to what matters most: your health.

Top 5 Boundaries to Set:

1. Holiday Events: It’s okay to decline invitations if attending will drain too much of your energy. Or plan to leave early. 
2. Gift-Giving: Set limits on the number of gifts you give, or suggest doing a gift exchange to reduce pressure of shopping.
3. Family Expectations: Let your family know what you’re able to contribute, whether it’s cooking, hosting, or attending events or not.
4. Social Media: If scrolling through holiday posts makes you feel like you’re missing out, take a break.Imagine the  value of JOMO- the joy of missing out where you can appreciate the peace of your different choices this year.
5. Rest Time: Block out time in your schedule for relaxation, and don’t let anyone take it away. Plan for rest before and after travel, long days with lots of activity both socially, mentally and physically.

Accessible Holiday Travel: It’s More Possible Than You Think
Traveling during the holidays can be daunting when you have EDS, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. Whether you’re traveling by plane, train, or car, there are ways to make your journey more accessible.

Top 3 Travel Tips for Accessibility:

1. Request Accommodations: Don’t hesitate to ask for wheelchair assistance at airports or special seating arrangements on planes or trains. Planning ahead ensures that your travel experience is as comfortable as possible.
2. Pack Smart: Bring assistive devices or just a travel pillow, supportive braces, medications, pain relievers and snacks to stay comfortable and manage symptoms.
3. Stay Local: If long-distance travel feels like too much, consider finding local holiday activities or hosting a small gathering at home. Make your own holiday traditions in smaller ways that better suit your lifestyle and needs.

The Power of Saying No: Your Holiday Health Comes First
One of the hardest lessons to learn is how to say “no” when you have a chronic illness —especially during the holidays when everyone’s expectations are high. But every time you say “no” to something that could overwhelm you, you’re saying “yes” to your health. This shift in perspective can help you take control of the chaos of the season.

Real-Life Examples:

• Declining Extra Tasks: Instead of hosting the entire family dinner, opt to host a smaller, simpler gathering—or just attend someone else’s.
• Saying No to Guilt: Don’t feel guilty for skipping events or scaling back your participation. Consider what will be best for you in the long-term putting your health is the priority.

Finding Joy in Simplicity: Scaling Back the Holidays
Bigger isn’t always better when it comes to the holidays. Sometimes, simplifying your traditions can lead to more meaningful, stress-free experiences. By scaling back, you conserve energy and reduce overwhelm.

Simplify and Thrive:

1. Minimalist Decorating: A few meaningful decorations can have a big impact without draining your energy. I treasure my tiny Charlie Brown style Christmas tree!
2. Gift Small: Instead of buying gifts for everyone, consider a simple gift card exchange or homemade gifts.
3. Smaller Gatherings: Limit the number of events or parties you attend to those that truly bring you joy. Stay in and rest up for the ones you choose to make the best of the time while out and about.

Thankful for the Small Wins: Focusing on Progress, Not Perfection
The holidays often come with expectations of perfection—perfect gifts, perfect gatherings, perfect meals, and perfect memories. But when you live with EDS, sometimes it’s more important to celebrate the small wins. Did you make it through a family dinner without a flare-up? That’s a win. Managed to rest between events? Another win. Celebrate small and allow yourself the simple joys in it.

Gratitude Guide:

• Start a daily gratitude practice by writing down three small things you’re thankful for each day. Simple things you notice, such as a lower pain level day for once. Shifting your focus from what’s missing to what’s present can bring peace, even during chaotic times.

Caregiver Resilience: Protecting Your Own Well-Being
If you’re a caregiver for someone with EDS, the holiday season can be extra exhausting. While you’re focused on taking care of others and setting the perfect dinner table, it’s important to care for yourself, too. This season, make sure you’re practicing self-care to avoid burnout and resentment.

Self-Care for Caregivers:

• Rest Day: Take one full day off from caregiving responsibilities.
• Ask for Help: Let a friend or family member take over some of your duties for a day.
• Indulge in a Hobby: Spend at least one hour daily doing something that brings you joy.
• Move Your Body: Gentle movement, like stretching or walking, can help reduce stress and the endorphins released can boost energy.

This holiday season, try to focus on progress over perfection, and remember that caring for yourself is not only a necessity—it’s the key to thriving, even in the most chaotic times.

The Zebra’s Holiday Gift Guide Returns
Plus, see our special edition return of the “12 Gifts of Blissmas for Zebras” gift list to get product ideas to calm the chaos of the holidays with some self-soothing creature comforts. Or use the list to give others a few gift ideas when they don’t know exactly how to help. Or consider indulging in ideas on ways to treat yourself this holiday season! 

November 2024