This funny story ends with a very practical graphical representation of what a useful ‘pain scale’ should look like. Don’t miss it! Follow the link at the bottom of this excerpt to see the graphic and read the pain descriptions that will have you rolling on the floor laughing! (Bind your midsection, we will not be responsible for popping ribs!)

Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Ebola. Probably.

I took Boyfriend to the Emergency Room last night because he was vomiting up vast quantities of what I thought was blood but actually it was just Craisins. You guys, if you feel like you may become violently ill in the near future, stay away from red food. Failure to do so may create an atmosphere of unnecessary panic and chaos.

Anyway, the doctor wanted to make sure that Boyfriend didn’t have SARS or stomach AIDS or something, so he had to poke him a lot. While he was doing this to Boyfriend, he pointed to a little reference chart on the wall and asked Boyfriend to rate his pain:

 

10 faces of feelings

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’ve probably seen some version of that chart before. You may also have noticed how inadequate it is at helping you. Based on the faces, this is my interpretation of the chart:
0: Haha! I’m not wearing any pants!
2:Awesome! Someone just offered me a free hot dog!
4: Huh. I never knew that about giraffes.
6: I’m sorry about your cat, but can we talk about something else now? I’m bored.
8: The ice cream I bought barely has any cookie dough chunks in it. This is not what I expected and I am disappointed.
10:You hurt my feelings and now I’m crying!

We’ve all experienced the frustration of using this pain chart which seems to be designed for a child who has skinned their knee.

Click here to continue reading the article — and view a “pain scale” we can really use! Plus, hysterical descriptions of each pain level that you can use with your doctor – at your own risk…